


I am lost in your eyes (don't ever pull me up)

by Inspirationfeedscreatiivity



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Cuties, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-13
Updated: 2015-03-13
Packaged: 2018-03-17 16:50:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3536861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inspirationfeedscreatiivity/pseuds/Inspirationfeedscreatiivity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura and Carmilla have been dating for quite a while, but aren't at the girlfriends stage just yet. This is the first time that Carmilla lets Laura all the way in by exposing her true feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I am lost in your eyes (don't ever pull me up)

"Give me your hand", she said and reached for me. 

Her eyes were dark and glowing. She was excited. I had always liked that about them, I never really had to ask her anything because her eyes would already have told me how she was or what she was feeling. I liked that about her. Her ability to seem broody and mysterious, but at the same time be as open as a book. 

At least she was with me. 

"C'mon", she said and grabbed my hand. She led me across the courtyard, away from curious eyes and disapproving supervisors.

"Where are we going?", I asked. She smiled at me, 

"You will have to wait and see", she answered. As we reached the football field I had absolutely no idea where she was taking me.

"Carm?", I asked but she only laughed.

"Be patient, cupcake", she said with a voice filled with an addictive laugh. 

I remembered the first time I heard it and how I had thought to myself, _dammit_. I just knew, knew that I was never going to grow tired of that sound. It quickly became a drug and whenever she laughed I had to clench to whatever was near, because the immediate reaction was always to to kiss her. To just soak in all that joy through her painted lips. Which I eventually did, but it took dozens of rounds with myself before I dared to do it. I quite quickly found that her lips were just as addictive as her laugh, maybe even more. That was a problem, at least in the beginning when we weren't seen without the other, lips locked more than they weren't. What could I say, she was addictive and I could survive on her alone. 

"Okay, we're here", she exclaimed and stopped. I looked around. She had stopped just at the bottom row of the bleachers that normally were filled with people during those nights when our football team was playing. We had not been there for the last couple of games. Why, because I had taken a few extra shifts at the restaurant and she, well she didn't go if I wasn't.

"Why are we here?", I asked when we had been standing there for a while. She glanced at me for a second, then she looked around.

 

"Do you know _where_ this is?", she replied. I shook my head. Her eyes were consumed by warmth and love when she once again grabbed my hand. An avalanche set off inside me and I had to remind myself to breathe. Those eyes were hypnotic. " _This_ is where we first met", she whispered.

"Really?", I asked, mostly myself but her too. 

She nodded. 

I looked around again and started to see it, hear it and smell it. The view of a packed field, players and crowd taking their places. The sound of the marching band. The smell of fries and hotdogs. I smiled and felt her hand still in mine. She was waiting for me to say something, anything. When I looked at her I remembered her leather jacket, the one I stained with Coke when we bumped into each other that night. Right here. Right where we were standing. 

"It is", I said. It looked as if she had held her breath because when I finally said something she breathed out. "Why did you take me here?", I had to ask. She shrugged her shoulders, still smiling. All of a sudden she looked nervous, even her eyes were filled with it.

"Laura", the way she said my name were so precious and soft. "I need tell you something", she continued.

"Okay", I answered. "What is it?". 

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. All of that nervousness made me nervous too. I could feel my pulse grow stronger in my veins and it was pounding in my fingers. 

"Carmilla?", I had to ask for her to look up again. 

She gave me a crooked smile. I looked directly at her eyes, hoped that they would tell me where this behavior came from, but all I saw was darkness. Enchanting darkness, shades of pain and hurt. I took a step closer when I saw that, I had to be closer or else my inside was going to break. I could feel her breath on my cheeks and let my other hand find hers.

"I have only told one other person this", she whispered and I could hear the pain in her voice. It hurt my heart and I could feel myself hold on to her even tighter. She stayed silent and I had to listen to her breathing, behind her the sound of the wind swirling through the rows of the bleacher grew louder. "And that didn't go that well", she said followed by a sad laugh. At that point I had had enough, so I placed both of my hands around her face, making it impossible for her not to look into my eyes.

"Whatever it is", I said with a steady voice, a lot steadier than I thought it would be. "I am not going anywhere, Carmilla", I said it with as much power I had in me and hoped that she heard how true it was. 

Once again I could feel her let out a deep breath, then her hands found my waist and she rested her forehead against mine. Her fingers slipped in under the hem of my shirt and caressed the skin on my lower back. It felt like if electricity was flowing out of her fingers and in through my skin, making my whole body to vibrate. The effect she had on me was crazy and had always been. Sometimes she didn't even have to touch me. All she had to do was to look at me with those eyes and I would feel the buzz throughout my whole body. When she put both of her hands on my lower back, pressing me closer to her, I had to let my arms fold around her neck.

"I love you", she whispered as low as she could possibly manage. 

I had to let the words sink in before I leaned back and looked at her. Her eyes screamed out of panic. While her lips were pressed together. I remembered then what she had told me, about Ell. Her ex. About how she left Carmilla in the most painful way possible. About how she had never loved anyone else after her. 

Until now, I thought to myself and breathed in. 

"What are you thinking?", she asked and I could still hear the pain in her voice. She was terrified.

I remembered the first time she allowed me to come with her to the cemetery, how she let me place flowers on Ell´s grave and then took my hand. That was the moment when I realized how much she meant to me, how I would never be able to not think of her as a part of my future.

"Laura?", as she said my name she tucked her fingers in the loops of my pants, allowing her to press me even closer to her. I had to breath again. The only distance between us at that point was the few centimeters I had created when leaning back with my head. When I looked at her, her face, her eyes, her mouth and the traces of too little sleep under those beautiful eyes I was convinced. I pressed my lips to hers. When she recovered from the shock she let down her guard and I could feel every muscle in her body relax. Afterwards I rested my forehead against hers.

"I love you too", I eventually answered and could see her crack a smile that pushed away all the pain. "All of you", I told her and she chuckled.

"Are you sure about that, cutie?", she laughed and I fell more in love with her. 

If that was even possible.

"One hundred percent", I answered. 

She smiled and still did when I kissed her. I intertwined my fingers with her black hair while her lips spread mine open. God, she was intoxicating. Every fibre of my body wanted to be connected with her. We were interrupted by the sound of my cellphone. Carmilla sighed at the feeling of it vibrating in my back pocket.

"If that's Perry or LaFontaine I'm going to have to-", she mumbled against my lips. 

I shut her up with another kiss before she could end her threat. I could feel her left hand slide up over my back, still under by shirt, and I clenched to her neck even harder. When my phone started to vibrate a second time she grunted clearly irritated. I could only smile while checking what the deal with the vibrating actually was.

"We have to go", I said after I had scrolled through the dozen messages LaFontaine had sent. When I turned back to Carmilla she looked really disappointed and pouted at me. Which obviously was nothing else than adorable. "Class starts in five minutes", I explained to a still pouting Carmilla.

"Really?", she asked and started kissing my neck. The feeling of her lips over the pulse point beneath my chin made my whole body soft and I had a really hard time not moaning in her ear.

"Really!", I said as determined as I could while leaning back a bit. She laugh once again and stopped kissing my neck disappointingly enough, but then placed one on my lips.

"I'll walk you", she said and grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together. "Okay?", she asked but I knew better than to believe that I had a choice in the matter.

"Okay", I answered. 

She smiled and fixed a curl of her bangs behind her ear. As we walked back I glanced at her, not discretely at all. I watched her wear that smile all the way to class and when I eventually watched her walk towards her own after she had kissed me goodbye I was stunned. 

I thought to myself, _dammit_. 

Because I understood, I would never ever in my life let her go and I knew she felt the same way about me. And I could most definitely get used to that feeling.


End file.
